I’m tired of excuses, I really am. In fact, can I be brutally honest with you? The external world does not define who you are! Only you can do that. So please don’t take this too personally, but…
I’m sorry your childhood was difficult…but you’re an adult now. Why are you still holding on to the past? That was then…this is now!
Stop telling me you have a problem asserting yourself. I’m not buying it.
What do you mean you cannot muster up the motivation to change? You sure seem to have plenty of motivation to complain.
You regularly criticize Mary for her mistakes but I never see you trying to help her learn from those mistakes. Why is that?
You joke about being a procrastinator, like it’s just a part of you. I don’t think that’s the problem at all. I’d say your problem is that you don’t know what you want and that’s why you cannot prioritize.
Why is it so difficult for you to make a decision? And what’s up with having to get everyone else’s opinion about what you should or shouldn’t do? All that does is complicate things. Besides, it’s not their decision to make.
The real problem
I don’t believe the external world defines us. I don’t believe that our past dictates our future. And I don’t believe in excuses. We are our results whether we like it or not.
The problem as I see it is that we are missing the key ingredient to a successful life. That’s right, I’m talking about having a Greater Yes. What do I mean? Having a Greater Yes makes it easy to say no; that’s because the Yes is of greater value to us than the No. Do you see it? When we don’t have a Greater Yes, we end up doing things that we really don’t want to be doing and/or we do them in a half-assed manner, whining and complaining along the way. And to make matters worse, we point to those things that we don’t enjoy doing as the reason for our lack of enjoyment. We’ve all heard it before…
My upbringing was dysfunctional and I dread every holiday when I have to be with my family.
I don’t like to speak up. That’s not who I am.
The energy to change at my age is not worth the battle.
I don’t like conflict…I don’t like Mary…and why should I help her? She doesn’t help me!
I’m just not excited about what I do and my boss is a micro-manager. He tells me what to do and how to do it. That’s just how it works.
If I get peoples’ opinion before making a decision, it becomes more of a group decision and my ass is not on the line.
Did you know that it takes more energy to blame others than it does to accept responsibility?
As I’ve already stated, the answer to accepting responsibility in life is by having a Greater Yes. And, in order to identify a Greater Yes, we have to spend some time defining:
- Who we are
- What’s our purpose
- What matters most to us
- What are we passionate about
- What do we value most
- Who do we need to be on a daily basis
- What do we want our legacy in this lifetime to be
- What do we need to do to move forward to becoming the person we are meant to be
If you can answer these questions, you already are well on your way to having a Greater Yes.
This week I have the privilege of leading the 37th Leading From Within program out here in Colorado. The questions above are exactly the work that the participants will be focused on for three powerful days, culminating in presentations on the last day. Presentations, I might add, that rarely leave a dry eye in the room. Why, even just thinking about day 3 gives me goose bumps as I write this.
People with a Greater Yes…
- See their troubled past as character-building and use it to direct their future.
- Assert themselves without hesitancy because they know what they want.
- Direct their motivation instead of trying to find it.
- Resolve conflict because relationships matter.
- Know what’s most important and prioritize their life accordingly.
- Make the difficult decisions with confidence.
It really is that simple.
The only change that needs to take place is within us. It never was about them…
So what’s your Greater Yes?
* Be sure to catch Geese talk more on this topic on his Mondays At 3 Talk Radio program every Monday from 3-4pm MST on www.milehiradio.com.